Steak and Frank is one month years old. Yep, one month years old. So lets review the last month; satellites have fallen from the sky, the red birds have gone to the world series, Ashton Kutcher has failed at marriage and Two and a Half Men, Steve Jobs passed away, and gasoline dropped below $3.00 for a second. Mom wasn't too happy, but I thought having a stripper pop out of an over sized birthday cake was totally appropriate for a milestone age like one month years old. P.S. it bugs Alex when I say one month years old, but can you believe it has been one month year already. But one month year is a long time. I actually brainstorm with Alex to try and come up with nonsense to put in the blog. Oh the life of a struggling writer. Maybe we should move to a resort in the snow covered mountains for the winter. Here's Johnny. I mean think about it. The boy sleeps, poops, eats, and does it all over again. I have to come up a with an entertaining way to say that every day that doesn't get repetitive. I mean it would be like me saying one month years old over and over. But looking back I think that the most expensive part of being a father so far is batteries. Everything this kid owns takes batteries. Up until this point we bought batteries for 3 things, the smoke alarm, the remote control, and well, er, the carbon monoxide detector. No cords near the crib. Come on, I bet if Frankie Sparks chewed threw a wire once he would learn his lesson, he's smart. But in all reality, one month year old is a long time to be doing this. We are getting worn. Have you ever tried to spend this much time with your significant other, day in day out, in a 12x12 room and them not put out. Jesus, prison is looking like a great escape. But seriously, have you ever tried it? That shows how much we love this little bambino, we put up with each other. And for Alex's sake, if I am this inappropriate to an audience of old people and priests, think of how I am in real life. But I do refrain from cussing in this, which is the equivalent of an Italian talking with his hands tied behind his back. Wouldn't it be funny if I was a mute? Awkward. But on to the boy. He, well, slept, pooped and ate today. But he was great at it, such vigor, such passion. Not bad for being one month years old. But he was awake for quite some time today. Wide eyed and happy which is killer diller since Frankie Foreskin was doing pretty rough last time air and feeds were at what they are now. Feeds are at 15cc and hour, or a half ounce for everyone in America, and his air is, get this, down to 2 liters an hour at 30% mix. And drum roll please..... We got to bottle feed him at one point today. But you already knew that if you watched the spoiler video at the top. The speech therapist is having 2 feeds via feeding tube a day replaced with 2 feed by bottle a day. It was only 15 ml (same as cc, but cc just sounds so much more doctorish) in the bottle and we could only get him to take 11 of it during our 30 minute aloud window. His stats are looking great. He is improving well. Alex has only dropped him once, not really, well kinda, just kidding, maybe.
P.S. So as Alex starts proofreading I hear 6 backspace keystrokes immediately. Right off the bat she tried to remove my years. That would be 5 letters and a space for everyone who is like years is only 5 keystrokes. Wrong. Months years.
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